Joy

"When are we going to be HAPPY again? I can't pen that question on just one of the three of us in this house because we all ask it from time to time. We do catch glimpses, we are not void of laughter or silliness in our home. General happiness, however, is quite fleeting. Yet there IS joy and our Lord once again creates teachable moments amidst pain. When I pour myself into Scripture each day, I find myself surrounded by nothing but teachable moments amidst pain...thus we are in good company.

Happiness IS fleeting and it was before Chris died and it was before he got sick. It is for everyone. Joy, however, is not and thus worthy of St. Paul's identification as a spiritual fruit. Eugene Peterson writes, about Psalm 126, that "(j)oy is not a requirement of Christian discipleship, it is a consequence."* He further alludes to joy as being a product of abundance.

So, the consequence of staying in relationship with the One who loves us is the joy that WILL sustain even when happiness is long absent. We begin our third month today without Chris. I sit at my desk drinking coffee that I will never again share with him and the concept of happiness is a bit foreign. Yet there IS joy and there is Relationship. I wouldn't wish my experience on anyone, nor that of my kids...but I DO wish I could convey the consistent presence of the Wordless Mystery. He really does bring joy and for that I am grateful.

Grace for your journey,
Leigh

*A Long Obedience in the Same Direction - Eugene Peterson