My Grief Observed

I remember the first time I read about Lucy pushing through the back of the wardrobe into the land of Narnia and taking me with her as I read. I remember when I first read the words of how to mislead humans in Screwtape. Then years later to have found a church home where my pastor was a famous scholar on the writings of C. S. Lewis I was once again being taught and being fed by his writings. So in that light it was with great need of my own that I turned to him to understand grief a bit better, specifically that of losing a spouse. I found instead a rawness of his own pain and little comfort initially.

Today, on Pentecost, as I once again turn to the words of "A Grief Observed" I am left with this passage to ponder...

"One never meets just Cancer, or War, or Unhappiness (or Happiness). One only meets each hour or moment that comes. All manner of ups and downs. Many bad spots in our best times, many good ones in our worst. One never gets the total impact of what we call 'the thing itself'. But we call it wrongly. The thing itself is simply all these ups and downs: the rest is a name or an idea." Chap. 1, p. 12 A Grief Observed

And so once again pressing on is the call, staying in relationship with One I will never understand but feel both comforted by and to Whom I am inexplicably drawn, not out of some false hope but out of the deepest respect of the Perfect Mystery and Complete Grace. He will continue to hold me through "all manner of ups and downs."

Grace for your journey,
Leigh