Puzzles

Last year it was the Seattle skyline and he didn't feel much up to helping.  Between the months of chemo and then radiation afterwards, Chris was simply too tired to help with the jigsaw puzzle.  We've had one every year.  During that time when the academic quarter ends and as we head into Christmas we just seem to gravitate to the slowed down pace of a jigsaw puzzle amidst all the other things of life. 

Chris had Job's patience for them, I had enthusiasm but I was pretty terrible at organizing them.  I always got the border done and then he would find his way over to the table and begin this process of fitting pieces that I plain couldn't see or didn't work hard enough to see.  Like in so much of our life Chris brought patience and a methodical determination.  Last year he offered encouragement from the recliner but I was still pretty much on my own with it and that felt a bit weird.  It also took longer that way.  Still, Chris had imparted a desire to learn patience in me and I managed to get it finished before the new year.

Little did I know the ways in which God would be preparing me to face the coming year and everything it held.  Like always, however, God is at work keeping a covenant with me, writing a story and remaining totally faithful.  And so I poured the pieces of this year's puzzle out on the table, it's a map of the ancient world.  Somehow I think Chris would approve of the choice, it's got both kids engaged in the history of it. 

Like my life, the pieces of the puzzle are fitting together in places, offering glimpses of something greater.  Chris witnessed to me the value of patience and God has lovingly and consistently taught the lesson to me for years, especially during this last one.

December offers so many opportunities for "grief moments," a phrase the kids and I use for the official calling of a time out in our house.  Our anniversary is on the twentieth, there's obviously Christmas and more poignantly Christmas Eve, which will mark a year to the day since Chris was last in church.  He had been unable to get there after then, exhausted from radiation.  He sang every word of the Hallelujah Chorus at the end of the service, you would have never known how sick he was then because he sang with an enthusiasm and love of God that was palpable. 

And so the dining room table is adorned with a jigsaw puzzle, pieces waiting for a patient hand, something I learned from Chris and God.  I am grateful that God is patient with me as well.

Grace for your journey,
Leigh