The sun came out today. It was quite welcome. After the downpours earlier this week, I was glad to be outside again. Eric and I were talking about summer and how to make it a good one. Suddenly he said, "It will be good and normal until about 6:00 pm each day." Part of me had hoped I could be so spectacular at parenting, climbing rocks, shoveling the ten cubic yards of topsoil we have ordered, gardening, etc. that it would make it a nice one for them. I mean I throw a mean spiral for a girl and the football is all pumped up and ready for some backyard play. I can throw up a baseball and hit pop flies as well as any guy so I would like to have thought I was set for a good summer for a fourteen year old. Still, I'm not Chris and I can't be Chris and I miss him too...more than there are words to say. So, I said, "Well Eric, I guess we do the best we can and when 6:00 pm comes around each day and Dad doesn't get off the bus in front of our house, we understand that we are just going to be a little sad, huh??" He said, "Yeh, I guess so, and maybe we should move dinner to another time and it won't be so weird."
That's life right now...in a nut shell...WEIRD. You can't live with another person for 23 years and not find their absence anything short of weird and empty and sad. And you can't have a Dad as terrific as Emily and Eric have had and lose him suddenly and not find that weird too.
So, the sun came out today, summer is showing signs of arriving once again and we face this one without Chris. Footballs will undoubtedly be thrown, Folklife Festival will be attended, vacation will be taken, the yard will be mowed, the grill will be fired up, the firepit will be used, on Chris' birthday an old car show will happen and we will go in his memory...life will happen. Yes it's weird, yes it's hard but the God who has held us through so much in the last few months will undoubtedly hold us through this too. God is God and we are not and we don't have to have any answers because He has them all. Life and our first summer...it's a trust fall. Thanks be to God.
Grace for your journey,
Leigh
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAfter 20 years since Dad died, it is still weird and sad, but it comes and goes, now. You are all such a strong family and I am sure, Leigh, you can hit a baseball as good as any guy I know! Love to you all!
ReplyDelete