It's been a busy couple of weeks, high school football, relearning geometry so I can lend Eric a helpful homework hand, me back in school, commuting with Emily, which is seriously FUN. Still my daughter but also increasingly my grown up sister in Christ, she went to bible study at church with me this week and spoke up intelligently and asked insightful questions. At one point someone mentioned what a great group of women were in the room and the word women included my little girl and I was especially proud.
I have met new people, new classmates, new friends at church, but people who only know Chris from my descriptions and that's very weird to me. And that's part of what my future holds, creating and maintaining relationships with people who don't see me as Chris' wife when I still very much see myself in that way. I think always will. And I think that's okay.
Cancer changed my life. It came in to my home and my world and took an integral part of the definition of Leigh away and I'm left with this space that is begging for definition and which I am not yet ready to define. In one of my classes we went around the room and were asked to say our name and something about us...I said this, "I'm Leigh and God has me on a need to know basis and all I need to know today is to be here." Definition will come, I'm just not yet ready to know that part yet.
I miss him. I am confident I always will.
God has tight hold of me. I am confident of that too.
Grace for your journey,
Leigh
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