Meltdown

I've heard grief described as a roller coaster, ups and downs. I've heard it described as waves that come and go. I've decided for us, for now at least, it's like this infected boil that will slowly recede in time but for now has to be lanced every now and then.

We had a lancing last night...quite unintentionally, but pretty effective. I'll both spare you the details and protect the privacy of our family conversation but suffice it to say that everyone misses dad and we're learning that sometimes it's the family that just plain falls apart and sobs together that stays together. So we did!!! Like in SPADES!!!

Then morning came...we had swollen red eyes and headaches but it came and we felt better. We skipped school because we were exhausted but we felt better. In fact we felt LOTS better. I've little doubt that the boil is once again beginning to collect some pus and pain and it will have to be drained when it fills to capacity but for now it's a little more okay. That's apparently how this works. And the three of us got on the bed tonight and laughed and talked about television and it was nice...VERY nice. I then flipped back to the Psalms and Eugene Peterson's commentary on them (A Long Obedience In the Same Direction) and I just felt this really big God hug...no deep theological discourse...just a big old God hug that seemed to say, "remember I am with you in the wilderness."

So, onward to Palm Sunday...onward to Easter...there's a lot of pain between here and there but He really did rise up out of that tomb and He really does love us. And He really IS here in our wilderness. Thanks be to God.

Grace for your journey,
Leigh