Sunday Night

I opened the mail today. Then I closed it back up and stuck it in the mail basket again. Being sick is expensive. Medical leave is turning in to disability leave and thus taking a chunk of Chris' paycheck each month with it. I wish I could talk to him and ask what he thinks I should do.

The brakes are just not right...I don't quite know what's WRONG with them, but they aren't right. I wish I could talk to him about that too.

And algebra homework...his department...enough said.

Everywhere I look there are things that Chris does and now I'm doing and I don't like it much at all. I don't need to be reminded that he is important, I already knew. But not because I don't know how to pay bills with a much reduced paycheck or because I don't know what to do with weird brakes...or even the algebra. I know because there is simply a void here without him and it's palpable.

Our pajamas are on, lights are being turned out, prayers said, teeth brushed but Chris is at Swedish and that hurts a lot. And once again, we do not know how this will unfold but we know Who holds us all as it does. The wilderness of Lent is a strong reminder that we are loved and not alone...and still a family.